To the tune of Nations of the World:

The Releases of re:Invent

ALB for Lambda,
EFS speaks Samba
VMware can run RDS
Rekognition’s still spelled wrong
Custom translation fits this song
Doubled IOPs come to EBS

Faster Snowballs: go get them
Outposts for your on-prem
To get one you’re going to beg
One thing I can say
Instance family “a”
They won’t cost you an ARM and a leg

Timestream: future and past
ML Predict in Forecast
Can tell you when it will be hot
Giraffes come to IoT
S3 speaks SFTP
Better recommendations in Spot

It’s not much fun
(Hi us-east–1)
To find your environment’s currently broken
Thanks for their support
Here’s an article (short)
On how to move it to DigitalOcean.

Tagging lightsail instances
Elastic inferences
Can help bring GPUs on demand
Elemental and IoT
Both sound the same to me
EFS Infrequent Access is grand

Instances C5n
Comprehend for Medicine
Intelligent tiering arrives for S3
ML Chip Inferentia
Helps treat Grandpa’s dementia
Both sound like diagnoses to me

Custom keyed KMS,
Lustre for EFS
Cost Explorer gets better recommendation reports
Quicksight dashboardsshow your failings
Better spot autoscaling
Lambda finally gets Ruby support

If your CD process
Is really obnoxious
ThoughtWorks’s GoCD can make it much better
WIthout seeming disingenuous
Thanks to them for their continuous
Ongoing support of this newsletter.

“This must be annoying
You can’t be enjoying
Writing songs like this; it can’t be fun?”
You’re wrong: Check the Snarkive
Glacier deep archive
Oh yeah, we’re not even half done.

Glacier’s API speaks S3
Don’t say “AMI” as “ah-mee”
Otherwise I will think you’re a tool
re:Play was a nightclub
And now Security Hub
Shows you just how you were a fool.

X-Ray can group traces
Several more marketplaces
Where you can sell containersML, and private AMIs
For a second time,
If this doesn’t rhyme
Then you might want to think about why.

It would be a slight
If I didn’t highlight
Cloudability’s support; they help with cloud finance
AWS bills are hairy
But they’re far less scary
When you know what they will be in advance.

QLDB has its perks
But explaining how it works
Turned a session hall into a math room
DeepRacer makes sense
It’s just a mobile DeepLens
That can follow you into the bathroom

LightSail can become EC2
DynamoDB transactions are new
On-demand Dynamo pricing is great
Lambda layers is fine
And Lambda custom runtimes
Let you write code in a language you hate.

Aurora Postgres Serverless
Makes Oracle nervous
Now in beta, it’s passing the brass pole
If you say with fervor
“Severless runs on servers”
You’re not clever, you’re being an asshole

Firecracker’s exciting
If open source seems inviting
Feel free to submit a PR
While not quite as noble
Accelerator (it’s global)
Make things far away seem not to be quite as far

DataSyncTransit Gateway
While both things that I hate, may
Help you along your cloud journey
S3 Object locks
check the compliance box
Is it for you? Please consult your attorney.

SageMaker Neo
App Mesh deprecates Istio
DeepRacer’s both a league and a car
IoT Devices for testing
Amplify Console’s investing
In the third redesign we’ve seen so far.

Resource mapping’s not crappy
Log Insights makes analysis snappy
License Manager if your vendors are zealous
ML Insights give extracts
And their new service Textract
Has such a bad name that I’m jealous

An ML tie-breaker
Because now SageMaker
Has Ground TruthMarketplace, and RL
Managed BlockChain
Those people drive me insane
I’m pretty sure that I’m dead and in hell

Batch Operations
Frees up concentration
From having to manage S3
IOT Service Delivers
Within thirty minutes
If it doesn’t the next event’s free

Managed Kafka is hot
Robomaker is not
(That may because I’m a yuppie)
Model training goes deep
Put EC2 nodes to sleep
Just like you would an unwanted puppy

Aurora Console can query
And that is just scary
Enough to turn DBAs’ hands cold and clammy
And for the third time
“AMI” will not rhyme
So we need a CloudFront Edge POP in Miami

If you use Landing Zone
It’s a bit error prone
So Control Tower helps us all get there
Who the hell is in charge
Of naming “p3dn.24xlarge
That’s not a name; it’s a dump of its firmware

They just launched Lake Formation
Satellites use Ground Station
Once they’ve reached orbit via rockets
That completes our tour
Oh wait there’s one more:
API Gateway now works with WebSockets